glyphsmash:

my stupid fucking aunt loraine bought us an air friar for our wedding present 🤦‍♀️ the apartments barely big enough for the two of us now weve got this dumb asshole flying around preaching at us … every time i get a migraine he tries to give me herbs and poultices 🙄

catfindr:

this is my cat lyra, she is obsessed with my brother’s leather boots. she has what we call “boot time” which is when my brother leaves them out so she can rub her face all over them and drool because she’s a weirdo. as you can see in the picture she really loves these specific boots.

mlarayoukai:

You show a cat something and they’re like sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff ooooh I understand now. Don’t care

garaks-padded-bra:

forgot my night time garlic bread in the oven for the length of 2 mythbusters wpisodes and when i opened the oven door it was so thoroughly cremated that i was blinded not by smoke and ash but what surely must have been its Soul as well

tallahasseemp3:

ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

americanette:

americanette:

i love this illustration i’m losing my mind

look at her. go crazy aaaaaa go stupid aaaaaa

holy crap lois i’m bipolar

cottoncandylesbo:

bro not the quencies (way of saying consequences if theres something deeply wrong with you)

strongermonster:

i’m at a concert thingy and the bands don’t start for another 2 hours, but they have the stage set up and are letting people come up and do karaoke. this family just went up w their kids to belt out cartoon songs and when they held the mic up for the baby to try, it babbled cutely for a sec and then grabbed on and unleashed one of those horrible piercing baby SCREAMS at the top of their little baby lungs and i’m pretty sure wiped out the first 3 rows of people lmao

pansyfemme:

going to get your tubes tied and when ur done ur doctor shows you an ultrasouns and he’s tied them into a perfect baloon dog :)